Asshat of the Day - February 16th, 2011

We're back! For long? Who knows?

Anyway. Today's candidate, with a hat-tip to Samson Effect for the tipoff: Bev Oda and the Conservatives.

Oda is on the hot seat after finally admitting Monday that she directed an already-signed document to be crudely altered by adding a single handwritten word – “not.” The change killed $7 million in funding to the multi-faith foreign-aid group KAIROS.

"Not". Really. Are we in third grade? "I'll give you my favourite marble... not!"

This is, of course, notwithstanding the fact that it's forgery of a political document by an MP (or at least by her staffers). This wasn't a mea culpa - by now, I don't expect those from our fearless leaders. It was a grudging admission of further deception and obstructionism by the party which has exhibited this in spades.

So, Bev Oda, unless you want to point the finger at exactly who's responsible, you're the Asshat of the Day.

Just to drive home the point...

Christopher Maloney is a quack.

Asshat of the Day - November 4th, 2010

Today's winner/loser - Mitch McConnel and his whole stupid party.

So, what's the first announcement upon winning back the House? Cooperation and compromise? Seeking to work with their Democratic colleagues in an effort to ride out the recession and improve America's ailing economy, infrastructure, and bloated department of defense?

BAAAA-haa-haa-haa-haa*gasp*-haahaahaa... hee.

No, no. They want to undo everything Obama's done. Despite the fact that he can veto any unreasonable motions. Despite the fact that many of the initiatives enjoy broad public support. Despite the fact that most of their goals (cut taxes and balance the budget without reducing services!) are mutually exclusive and fly in the face of logic.

So, Obama will veto any attempts to hamstring or remove his health care reform. Does this stop them?

In addition to proposing and voting on repeals "repeatedly" despite expectations that the President will not sign them, "we'll also have to work in the House on denying funds for implementation and in the Senate on votes against its most egregious provisions," he said.

No, of course it doesn't. They're willing to spin Congress' wheels for two years, wasting billions of dollars of taxpayer money.

Asshats.

(Incidentally, when you're spending twice as much on healthcare as one of your neighbours, and yet sit thirty-third on the list of lowest infant mortalities in the world, your health care system needs reform.)

Asshat of the Day - September 8th, 2010

Today's titlist - one Terry Jones.

Despite sharing a name with a generally awesome individual, this Mr. Jones is quite clearly an idiot.

Despite denunciations from religious leaders, angry Muslim protests, the pleas of top U.S. generals and White House disapproval, a fiery, unrepentant Christian minister vows to burn stacks of Korans to mark the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Centre, a tiny, controversial church with only 50 followers in Florida, says he won’t bow to threats or entreaties but might listen to divine guidance.

“We have firmly made up our mind, but at the same time, we are definitely praying about it,” said Mr. Jones, who wears a pistol on his hip and says he has received more than 100 death threats related to his plans for an “International Burn a Koran Day.”

Now, I'm in favour of mocking religion at every turn, and condemning its evil acts. But this isn't a statement of protest, it's an attempt at constitutionally-shielded retaliation in a petty and vindictive fashion against people who, on the whole, had nothing to do with the events of 9/11.

And, beyond that, it's burning books. Not that various nutty Christian sects don't have a penchant for that particular act of depravity, but I find myself paraphrasing Sir Sean Connery: Mr. Jones, Bible-thumping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.

Asshat.

Asshat of the Day - July 15, 2010

Today, it's a perennial favourite - the Catholic Church.

And why?

The Vatican today made the "attempted ordination" of women one of the gravest crimes under church law, putting it in the same category as clerical sex abuse of minors, heresy and schism.

So a priest who (for whatever reason) tries to ordinate a (presumably devout) woman into the priesthood gets the same punishment (ostensibly) as a priest who raped children. Or, at least, the punishment that such a priest should get.

Both the priest and the woman in this ceremony would be excommunicated. You know, the same punishment the Church visited on a nine year old who had an abortion after her stepfather raped her? And bear in mind that this punishment, in the Church's eyes, is condemnation for Hell, with no chance of parole. For trying to make a woman one of their magic chanty-people.

Asshats.

Michael Bloomberg - Talks Big, Doesn't Deliver

So, this article.

Most of it, couldn't be happier. Lots of positive stuff there. Until we get near the very end...

Will the mayor himself be using one of the charging units on an electric car?

Bloomberg said he would like to drive around the city in a nonpolluting car. But, he noted, “There is not a fast enough and big enough electric vehicle. I typically have a lot of people with me. But, I would do it if I could because I believe in leading by example.”

Great job, jackass. Could've gone with, "I'm getting a Leaf/Volt/Model S as soon as it comes out!" Could've gone with "I use one whenever I don't have to travel with eight people."

Nope. "There is not a fast enough and big enough electric vehicle." Oh, I'm sure that just fills your citizenry with the desire to get those slow, tiny electric cars.

Hey, Mike. Big enough for you? Fast enough for you? Yeah, it's in the prototyping stage. You're the Mayor of New York. You don't think they'd be willing to work out a prototype-model lease for the publicity alone?

Great job.

Asshat of the Day - July 14, 2010

Today's contender is the Western Media as a whole.

Alright, folks, listen up.

Bristol Palin is not news!

The Quitbull and her spawn were a good bunch of clowns to trot out back during the election campaign... in 2008. We're done. Don't give the family any more attention, and let them drop back to being the nonentities they were before McCain made (one of) his fatal mistake(s).

I mean, seriously. I expect this kind of thing from Faux News (and even they put it in their entertainment blog), but the Guardian? Reuters? CN-freaking-N and the G&M?

Seriously, folks, don't give these folks the time of day.

Update: The BBC?!?

Asshat of the Day - July 13, 2010

Today's contender, once again, the Government of China.

What's so wrong about making people use their real names online?, you might ask. After all, Blizzard's doing it. Well, yes. And look how that turned out.

But beyond that, there's a difference in terms of the motivation behind the actions. Blizzard's aborted Real ID system was meant as a means of making its forums more civil - the idea being that without the protection of anonymity, users would be less inclined to be impolite.

China, on the other hand (emphasis mine)...

In an address to the national legislature in April, Wang Chen, director of the State Council Information Office, called for perfecting the extensive system of censorship the government uses to manage the fast-evolving internet, according to a text of the speech obtained by New York-based Human Rights in China.

...

Wang said holes that needed to be plugged included ways people could post comments or access information anonymously, according to the transcript published this week in the group's magazine China Rights Forum.

"We will make the internet real name system a reality as soon as possible, implement a nationwide cellphone real name system, and gradually apply the real name registration system to online interactive processes," the journal quoted Wang as saying.

This isn't a push for civility. It's another brick in the Great Firewall of China, a bit more muscle behind the stranglehold the PRC has been trying to clamp on freedom of expression and information for its citizens.

And it's an Asshat sort of thing to do.

Determinedly Evil Misogynistic Bastards

The Iranian justice system at work.

Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani was to be restrained at the center of a mob of twenty or thirty other human beings, who are then to bludgeon her to death with hurled stones. Surely, she must be a monster to warrant this treatment. What did she do? Murder infants in their cribs? Pour poison into the water supply? Wrong on both counts. She "committed adultery while married". Now, I was under the impression that one had to be married in order to commit adultery in the first place - apparently, in Iran, pre-marital sex is also adultery. It's just a hundred lashes if it's pre-wedding, death by stoning post-.

Human Rights International, Amnesty International, and other groups raised an international outcry. And the Iranian response?

"...the verdict will be carried out regardless of Western media propaganda.”

I'm a big fan of live and let-live. But they're not letting this woman live. They're going to murder her through an excruciatingly unpleasant method. And why? Because she did something upsetting to their world view, and they have to keep women complacent, obedient, and scared.

Mystical Möbius Magic!

Every so often, it becomes clear to me that the web, in addition to being an incomparable shopping resource, a research tool, and a time-waster nonpareil, is a cesspit of inanity and willful stupidity.

Case in point.

Now, I grant you, the parent site, ArticleClick, does not exactly stand out as a paragon of academic excellence. However, you'd think they'd have some system of rating articles that would get this one relegated to the very depths of its servers.

Mobius jewelry can help remind us that we do not have a clear perception of the world around us. Given that this mysterious shape has only one surface, it stands as the perfect example for the Creator, who created everything that surrounds us from Himself.

Mobius jewelry also reminds us of our dualistic perception of right and wrong. This is because when you cut the strip in two, you will have a larger Mobius strip, which shows that when you view the Creator through this perception, you end up with illusion.

There are many mystical attributes which can be conferred to Mobius jewelry pieces. It can be offered as a gift to the one you love, because it is the perfect symbol of unity. With this you will offer the promise of a great and fulfilling life together.

Now, the spelling and grammar errors throughout the article aside... *ahem*

• There is nothing mysterious about the Möbius strip. It is a non-orientable, ruled surface. It can be described mathematically. Its various properties are well-documented. Speaking of which...


• When you cut a Möbius strip in half, you do not get a larger Möbius strip. You get a strip with two full twists in it, which has two edges and two sides. And this is not any more indicative of the presence of a Creator than the fact that cutting a stick in half produces two thinner (or shorter, depending on how it is cut) sticks. (Although, biblically, they tried something like that.)


• There are no mystical attributes to the Möbius strip. Mathematical attributes, sure. Interesting attributes, certainly. But there's nothing magical about a strip of material with a half-twist.